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Our opinion, with a side of qualification

By on June 2, 2013 in Reflections
We used this electronic device to indicate how much we did (or did not) like a given song. There was no way to give a qualifying statement to explain why we have the feelings we do. At first that made me feel weird, then I realized how freeing it is to give one's opinion without feeling the need to explain or justify that opinion. It is what it is.

We used this electronic device to indicate how much we did (or did not) like a given song. There was no way to give a qualifying statement to explain why we have the feelings we do. At first that made me feel weird, then I realized how freeing it is to give one’s opinion without feeling the need to explain or justify that opinion. It is what it is.

Yesterday I joined about 100 other women as we helped a local Christian radio station with a research project about the music their station plays. The research company equipped each of us with a hand-held device where we could key in the corresponding number to our answers and during the actual research, we could use the dial to indicate our feelings about a song.

If we loved it, we gave it a 10. If we recognized it but didn’t like it at all, we gave it a 1. Then all the numbers in between were used to rate songs that were in between those love/hate extremes. If we didn’t recognize the song, we gave it a zero so that the response would not be counted. We listened to snippets of about 350 songs and it was a lot of fun.

There were several times when I gave the played song a low rating and it was all I could do not to raise my hand and qualify my answer. “I love the song, just don’t like how that artist does it” was the usual clarifying statement on my mind.

Then it hit me: it didn’t really matter what my personal reason or bias was that influenced my feelings on that song. The truth of the matter was, I didn’t like it. Plain and simple. They considered my opinion valid no matter what life happenings brewed to form the opinion.

It got me thinking, how often do we do that to ourselves and to others? When someone expresses an opinion, how often do we say “oh, well I know you had this experience or you have this belief so that’s why you think that.” How is it that we as a society see previous experience as a disqualifying thing for someone’s opinion instead of a validating thing?

It strikes me as so condescending and dismissive to qualify someone’s opinion, even our own. Why not just take opinions for what they are?

Would love to know your thots in the comments!

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#thisisme … the search for balanced authenticity

By on May 10, 2013 in Reflections

Whenever I hear a speaker at a conference, in church or … anywhere, I think through the message and search out what I already knew and what I needed to hear. I then evaluate what I am already applying, what I should apply differently, and how I should revolutionize my thought patterns by applying something completely new.

Whew! That’s a lot of brain power for one message, isn’t it? I think I never want to be one of those people who either dismisses an entire message because I already know pieces of it or, on the opposite end, be the type of person who is such as sponge that I take in and let the message turn my life in a direction it may or may not need to go. The search for balance in life is exhausting.

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Image found on Pinterest. http://www.fromtracie.com/

Such was the case during the recent SoFabCon 2013, a blogger’s conference that Collective Bias sponsored to bring bloggers together with brands to help educate, inspire and grow. There was a weird travel snafu with the ending keynote speaker so they had to pinch hit so to speak. Although not by design, I don’t think the conference could have ended on a better note.

About #thisisme

Continue Reading →

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Creative enough: Creativity is in the head and heart, not the hands

By on May 5, 2013 in Enough

Creativity involves breaking out of established patterns in order to look at things in a different way.
Edward de Bono

I used to tell people that I’m not really creative, that I’m not fun. I can write casually, but it’s still pretty fact-based. I have always seen creativity to mean those who write brilliant poetry or who can create crafts or beautiful art with ease. Continue Reading →

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Enough is enough (otherwise known as sane enough)

By on April 21, 2013 in Enough, Reflections

Enough (1)A few months ago, I announced that I would be focusing on a single word for an entire year and how that word plays a role in my life. I’ve been kind of (read: really) slack in blogging and doing the projects for my word. It’s not because I haven’t thought about it, it’s just the outer processing that has taken a back seat.

As a recap, my word is “Enough” and I chose this word because one of the many lies that we as women are led to and choose to believe is that we aren’t “enough.” The simple word enough seems to indicate meeting the bare minimum and I wanted to fight that as well. In reality, being enough means that you meet the need. That you fulfill your role. Doing anything more or less than that is not good. 

Today I wanted to return to some of those thoughts about Enough and catch readers up on what I’ve been thinking about in the last few months. This will be a two-blog section because I never blogged about enough in March and now April is almost done.

Choosing sanity when it doesn’t choose me 

quote about turning the pageWhen considering the idea of “enough,” I’ve found that sometimes it means saying “enough is enough.” My focus for this topic is learning to realize that you’ve had enough and that it’s OK to step back and even quit. It’s about setting boundaries and recognizing when those boundaries are threatened. It’s about setting boundaries for how others are allowed to treat you but also in how you treat yourself. Trust me, that last one can be harder than the first. Continue Reading →

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Easter rain seems fitting

By on March 30, 2013 in Reflections, Throwback!

This log is something I wrote in April 2009. It seemed fitting to reshare:

Cross in the rain Pictures, Images and Photos
It rained today, quite a bit actually, and more is on its way. My first reaction “how sad, it’s raining on Easter, all those egg hunts will be ruined!”

But as I thought about it more this morning, it seems only fitting, only appropriate that it would rain so much on Easter morning. Think about it, rain is cleansing and rain helps things grow, bringing a sense of renewed life to the world. Isn’t what Christ did?

His death and resurrection accomplished both things: it wiped out our debt of sin, completely. There wasn’t any IOUs or even hints of it. It also gave us new life, not only a better life than we had before but somehow being promised life after being assured certain death seems so much sweeter.

Even as I write those words I have a hard time understanding them because they mean so much. Even now that I have a real relationship with God, I have a hard time knowing how to react to the idea of the crucifixion. It’s not that I’m not grateful, in fact it’s really the opposite.

The idea that Jesus did that is so amazing that I have a hard time fully grasping it well enough to react. Is a thank you good enough? Hardly. Is accepting the gift enough? Not really, even though that’s all we have to do to receive the eternal life the gift promises. I keep thinking I should be breaking down in tears and wailing or having some other violently emotional reaction to all that happened on Golgotha, but I don’t. I just sit there in quiet awe, respect and numb thankfulness that seems and probably is so inadequate.

From now on, forget the Easter egg hunts. I hope it rains every Easter.

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Do you ever feel like adapting is like grieving? It often is

By on March 18, 2013 in Life with a disability, Reflections

It is not unusual for friends or associates to ask me how to help another friend of theirs who was recently injured to the point that they are permanently disabled.

I usually feel at a loss when this happens because, as I tell the person asking, I was born with my disability. I came to the acceptance thing a long time ago, as a child. I never had that moment when my life was one way then in a moment it was changed forever.

I try to explain that if I were to wake up and be completely healed of the Spina Bifida tomorrow, I would feel the same kind of loss that people feel when they are injured. It’s going from a life I know to something completely foreign and unwelcome. Most are flabbergasted when I say that, others gain a whole new understanding of me and how I live.

Adapting is like grieving

Continue Reading →

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Captivating Heart 2013 is coming!

By on March 7, 2013 in Faith

Last September, I attended a conference called Captivating Heart and although I was sick the whole weekend,  I learned a few things about who I am in God that has revolutionized my thinking–both about God and about myself.

599159_10151139919781868_314626114_nFor me, the biggest take-aways were this:

  • Learning that Satan’s biggest lies are that I’m not enough or that I’m “too” much to be worthy. This led to me spending the entire year of 2013 studying the idea of being “Enough.”
  • Learning that my beauty comes from being created in God’s image and that inherently makes me a beautiful human being and it translates into me being a treasure who will be used for God’s glory.

Captivating Heart 2013 is coming this October and I’m so blessed to be on the planning committee. My hope and prayer that all of my women friends who are of faith decide to take part in this event. You don’t even have to be from Northwest Arkansas! We had women from multiple states join us last year.

Here’s a few details about Captivating Heart 2013:  Continue Reading →

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Enough: The mom I was created to be

By on March 3, 2013 in Enough

owl2013_3For February’s topic for the One Little Word study, I’m looking at the idea of being “mom enough.” Kinda crazy, considering I’m not a mom, right? I promise this isn’t going to be a dedication to my fur kids, although you know they’ll come up.

This topic is one of the hardest for me to write about because it brings up many issues that I have always tried very hard to avoid. Here’s the thing: When we decided to not have children, I had mixed feelings. Because of my disability, the whole topic of childbearing is often painful for me but not for the reasons you might be thinking at this point. Continue Reading →

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Want to look good? Don’t want to look like a bad guy? Here’s how

By on February 23, 2013 in Reflections

A few years ago, I was introduced to a new board member on a board of directors I covered as part of my job as a reporter. We exchanged pleasantries and he started to end the conversation by saying something to the effect of “well, I hope you make us look good in the newspaper. (Your colleague) that I’ve dealt with before always makes (this other board) that I’m on look so negative.”

I looked him straight in the eye and said that this is what I tell sources who say that: “I’m a professional reporter. I know not everyone is this way, but I can promise you that in my stories, I report what happens. So if you want to look good in the newspaper, do good things. If you don’t want to look like a bad guy or a bully, then don’t act like one.”

The man was initially taken aback, but agreed that was good advice. He quickly learned I’m true to my word and I maintain professional standards. My professionalism isn’t the point here, though. Continue Reading →

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January: Made enough

By on February 16, 2013 in Enough

Let’s get the first thing right out there. I know the title says January. I know it’s the middle of February. I’m catching up!

Moving on…

For this first study, I want to remind myself that my God-sized dream is to realize that I’m enough. What does that mean to me? It means that God made me for a specific purpose. If I try to go beyond that, I’m setting myself up for heartache and feeling like a failure. On the other hand, if I don’t strive for all that God has in store for me, then I will live life feeling unfulfilled, even if I don’t understand why.
937a310ca025ebb1ba0c38288fb202bdIt’s so easy for me to get distracted by what others think I should be doing, even if I don’t agree. I have to make peace with the idea that I don’t agree. If my focus is on God’s plan, their ideas wouldn’t really matter to me. I also think that I would be more open to hearing messages from the “right” people that God brings to my life to help share his plans for me. I’m a firm believer that God works through his people, if we let him! Continue Reading →

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